BEING THE GROWNUP

A debut guide offers a wide-ranging
philosophy of responsible and balanced parenting.

Moore’s book takes on a topic that’s
much in the news in the modern era of helicopter and lawn-mower guardians: the
nature, limits, and origins of the parenting bond. Like many people who watch
the news (or observe modern adults), she’s familiar with the ways that
parenting in the 21st century often devolves into a harried series of
negotiations, with many well-meaning mothers and fathers lamenting that “I
don’t want to impose rules, just guidelines.” These parents are facing more
challenges than ever before, including the need to oversee the screen time that
has become such an inevitable part of everyone’s lives. The bulk of the
author’s manual is a passionate, empathetic reminder to parents that their
power isn’t derived from mediations with their charges. Rather, it comes from
what the author refers to as “the natural authority of parenthood,” which
springs from adults’ responsibility for their children and does not depend on
particular strategies. Instead, it’s a functioning relationship in which
parents make consistent demands and set firm limits. The book’s gambit extends
across the whole spectrum of parenting concerns, including “food, friends, or
the Web,” and pays attention to the broader cultural forces that have always
been a part of the job. “Culture,” Moore writes, “can be as big as a
nationality and as small as a family, with lots of layers in between.” But for
all of its topical comprehensiveness, the book never strays far from its
central tenet, which is the bedrock relationship between parent and child that
morphs throughout its life span. “Many parents worry too much about doing the
right thing at any given moment,” the author writes, “but it is less that a particular
moment makes the difference than that the accumulation of moments creates a set
of expectations for each of you.” Parents of all ages, especially new ones,
should find Moore’s easygoing wisdom invaluable.

A wonderfully insightful,
back-to-basics approach to parenting.